It’s omnipotence can be palpable at times. From a bad taste in my mouth and a lump in my throat to a heaviness in my chest or just an overwhelming urge to break down into tears. It can hold me back or propel me to flight. It can be useful if I’m outrunning a bear or debilitating and stopping me from expressing my authenticity. We all have it, we all know it. Some people say, “I’m not afraid of anything. Nothing scares me.” Bullshit. The ones that say that are even more scared than the ones that don’t. After the initial aggravation and vulgar thoughts where I’m judging that statement I remember, that IS fear.
We can’t ever live without it, it’s part of our biology BUT we can be aware of it. We can acknowledge it when it rears it’s ugly head, cordially greet it, and send it packing. If you’re physically being attacked, fear is highly useful, your fight or flight could save your life. However, in normal life it will usually cause you to hold back your authenticity, live a less fulfilled life and cause you to be plagued by anxiety. When you acknowledge your fears and bravely move forward in the direction of your dreams even though it’s terrifying you will find a happier, more complete version of yourself. I know when I hold back I begin to feel resentful and self loathing. If I hold back too many times in a row I begin to feel powerless, because my fear is in the drivers seat. The cure is a healthy dose of accomplishment, doing something I am confident I can complete and then doing something brave.
Fear is venom and the antivirus is bravery. The more unknowns, the bigger the gamble and the higher the fear. The higher the fear, the more courage and bravery you will need to summon in order to combat the fire breathing fear dragon. As I practice courage more often lately I find my self esteem, self talk, self image and self love all improve as does my patience and compassion for others. I want to live rather than exist, I want to be self-aware, I want to be a leader to others trying to find a way out of their self inflicted pain, I want to be happy and I want to help others be happy. I want to be authentic each and every day.
Fear punches authenticity in the face and says “Who do you think you are? You’re not good enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not educated enough. You’re being rude by sharing your truth. No one wants to hear that. You’re wasting time. You have laundry to do. You need to focus on your to do list, not how you feel. You’re acting like a narcissistic teenager, only thinking of yourself.” Courage fights back. Courage is what gets you back on your feet, squares off with fear and says, “I’m scared but I am good enough, I am smart enough. I have something to say and I will do it compassionately but with firm boundaries. The laundry and the to do lists aren’t going anywhere, I will get to them as soon as I’m ok. I will always think of myself first because I will not be as important to anyone else as I am to myself. I love you for trying to protect me but you’re going about it wrong. Now take a seat because you’re in my way.”