I miss him…I’m trying to read and talk my way through it

This was a Facebook post. Before you even judge, I know. Feel sorry for me, I’m sad and pathetic. I get it. That’s totally what it was. One friend posted immediately, offering consoling words. Another phoned me, chastising me for the message I was sending out to the world. Apparently, I was saying “I needed a man and wasn’t complete without him in my life”. Even though the conversation was nothing like all the understanding women I’ve been talking to, it has its place. I hadn’t really thought about how it came off, I was just sulking. Underneath my sad sack post was…I’m hurting, anyone else been there? Anyone else finished a bottle of wine and want all the problems to disappear? I didn’t need the post to know the answer was “yes, we’ve all been there.” Or atleast most have. I wanted sympathy and a lot of it. I was trying to read but my focus was faltering. As my grandmother would have said “your on the pity pot!”. Yup, so what, it happened. It didn’t mean I was going to go running back. It didn’t mean I don’t love myself. It didn’t mean I was going to give up on staying true to my boundaries. And certainly didn’t mean I was going to be sad indefinitely. 

Here are the lessons I’ve learned so far:

1. Getting over a breakup calls for an understanding tribe. You must have more than 1 person to go to so they don’t get burnt out.

2.You will repeat yourself ALOT

3. Be careful with eating and drinking but feel free to have cheese and carbs and ice cream. Some indulgence is gonna happen so no sense in judging yourself, as long as it’s not a crutch.

4. If you talk to people outside your go-to tribe…expect judgement and “tough love”. They are doing their best too and your ass could use some balance anyway.

5. Everyone you talk to is going to want the best for you. The closer you are to each other, the more accurate the advice will be.

6. At the beginning its most important to simply put one foot in front of the other. One day at a time.

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