The Feminine Essence


We are fighters. We may sting, we may bite, we can hunt and we can fight. We are protectors. Our voices are never silenced for long, for miles you can here our song. We are in the soul of every human, every creature. Our culture, our love, our stories can last for generations. Mother Earth is earth, air, fire, and water all the same time. We are fire, we are air, we are water and we are earth. We are the cells in your body and the love in your hearts. We are the fire in your belly and the compassion for your neighbor. You can feel us beat in your chest when you know the truth of all things.


We are nurturers. We are healers. We are lovers and warriors. We are the matriarchal societies fueled by empathy and an urge to protect our species. We are the lifegivers. We birth new generations and new ideas. We are the feminine water that runs through the veins of every human being. You see us in herds of  Elephants, pods of Orcas, and prides of hunting lionesses. Bonds are embraced, nurtured and protected. Our power does not reduce the power of the masculine, it complements it. Our emboldened stance gives human civilizations promise for a more secure future. Our warriors battle the toxic masculine that takes what it wants and rapes our earth and our species.


We are the feminine. We will love you no matter how much you hate us. We stand tall no matter how many times you kick us down. We do not grow bitter because we accept what is and work with our moments. We do not always have the answers. But we know LOVE. We know relationships. We know about the interconnectedness on our planet and between our souls. We know in our hearts what is right, because we have learned to listen mindfully. We are not all women. We are the feminine. We are the creators of joy and passion. We are the idea that grabs hold and whispers in your ear until you give us life. We are a smile or a warm hug. We are the moments of overwhelming gratitude that turn into large flowing tears.

We are not money or greed. We are not Twitter feeds or Facebook posts. We are not isolation, fear or exclusion. We are not anger or hate.

You know us when you feel us.

We are magic. We are love.

Start a Revolution…In Yourself

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Personally I find self-discovery binges to be the most healthy, obsessive-compulsive binge we can embark on. Whether it’s meditation, western astrology, chinese astrology, any of the ologies, spirituality, faith, therapy, crystals, personal growth books/workshops/seminars, nature, or simply conversations with friends. You name it, there’s a way for you to connect with your inner spirit,your soul. Find it. Your quality of life depends on it. Other people’s lives depend on it. One of my favorite quotes is by Ghandi:

Be the change you want to see in the world

You can’t create change, a revolution or any major shifts in consciousness without first looking within. Your friends will benefit, your family will benefit and even strangers will benefit. When your operating at your full potential, you’re genuinely happy and authentically YOU. Others will be brave enough to do the same, even if it starts with just your intimate circle. It will spread, like magic.

Here are 5 tips to find your calling:

1. Seek a mentor or many mentors

When you find healthy people to align with, people that you aspire to be like, magic will happen. Having a guide, or guides, will provide you with a stable platform of non-judgement while you sift through limiting beliefs. They will challenge you and hold you accountable. They will teach you different methods that have worked for them. They will give you new tools. They will accept you when you fall on your face, and you will, because they’ve been there. They understand.

2. Find a way to quiet your mind

Whether it’s nature, mediation, yoga, instrumental music or solitude. Find a way to cut down the chatter, both around you and in yourself. At first, your internal dialogue will be quite chatty. Don’t judge it, just let it flow through you. You may need to journal at first, to know that you can have an outlet if you need to. Eventually, try to just listen, not holding on to anything but watching the thoughts flow by like subtitles on a foreign movie. They will calm and you will be able to slowly discern which thoughts and ideas need your attention and which are fear, anxiety and judgment. This is where you have the opportunity to fully love yourself, be your own best friend and your own therapist.

3. Follow you creativity

You know those ideas that set your neurons on fire? The ones that you have to jot down or begin creating because you can feel it to your core? Listen to those. Create them. Start them. Express them. Maybe it’s art, maybe it’s something mechanical. It may not lead anywhere but you will feel fulfilled and accomplished for having tried it out.

4. Create a basic routine

This one can be the hardest but you can’t start a revolution without passion and commitment. Not all of us are in a position where we can leave our lives and be in a Buddhist Monastery, or Indian Ashram for a lengthy amount of time. Many of us, especially the ones in urban areas, are tight on money and have to work. We have responsibilities, families and commitments where people depend on us. With that said, a routine, where you carve out time for projects, creativity, nature, friends, conversations and solitude is essential. Make time for the things that feed your soul, things that rejuvenate your spirit and connection with your inner light. Those things are different for all of us-some its time with friends, for others is silence and solitude. It does’t matter what it is. Just make time for it.

5. Understand your brain and body

When you understand your brain and body you will learn your limitations and in what ways you can push yourself. What type of learner are you? Do you see words in your mind or pictures? Are you better thinking on your feet or working with a specific plan? Is your work and life setup for you to succeed? For instance, if you are a business owner and find daily paperwork falling behind while you work with clients, then hiring a manager for office work would be essential for you. If you always get lost on your way somewhere, then you need a GPS. Maybe you used to do yoga and you keep telling yourself you are going to do it everyday. Then you don’t. Don’t judge yourself, just set realistic expectations. Start with doing it 1x/week at a studio, where you are more likely to be held accountable. Learn how you work without judgement and with full acceptance. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone but also be aware of your limits. We all work differently. Once you know how you learn and what your strengths and weaknesses are then you can set reasonable, achievable goals that fit YOU. Goals that fit YOUR brain and YOUR body. Not what society tells you they should be.

What does your revolution look like? What feeds your soul? How do connect with yourself? How are you affecting others? What do you WANT your revolution to look like?

Midgets, Albinos and Dead birds

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The fully wearable and operational suit

So this just happened…

DISCLAIMER: I take full responsibility for the irreverence of this post and only found it amusing in how quickly our conversation turned into an in-depth analysis of a subject we knew nothing about. Please pardon my own offensive ignorance, seriously.

Me: “We should get a trampoline for our students.”

Boss: “No, it’s a bad idea. We’ve done it before and they just launch each other. We could only do it if we provide velcro suits and a wall.”

Boss’s 22yr old son: “It reminds me of Wolf of Wall Street with the midgets. I don’t think that’s legal anymore though.”

Me: “No it’s not legal. But I don’t know why, what’s wrong with suiting them up in velcro suits and catapulting them onto a wall…If that’s how they want to earn their living.”

Boss: “Um, ok, you have to stop. That’s horrible. 1) because that’s like saying why did we abolish slavery and 2) because the only jobs ever offered to them for  long time were circuses and acts like that. So it was outlawed and you’re a dick. Now that I think of it, I never see midgets working anywhere…or albinos…or dead birds?? I’m concerned, I know they’re out there, I know I should see like 10 dead birds a day, or a midget or albino once in a while but I don’t! Are they hiding and then eating all the dead birds so no one sees them??”

Me: “Wow, you got really worked up over that. I didn’t think of it that way. I didn’t mean it to be a dick. I would love to be paid to wear velcro and be launched. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I’m too heavy for all that.”

Co-worker A: (Our fiery 63yr old teachers aide that was previously laughing too hard to speak) “You’re right! Where are all the dead birds?! I don’t know about albinos but I work with a person like that at the other school. He has a cute butt!”

Boss: “You can see it? Is that all he is…a butt? I don’t think they liked being called Midgets anymore but the way. I think the preferred term is ‘little people’.”

Co-worker B: (who only walked in at that line) “I used to work with a little person at my pizza place job, he was 4’11″and a dough roller.”

Co-worker A: “I’m 4’11” and that’s not a little person. What does him being a dough roller have anything to do with it?”

(Co-worker B walked out of the room,probably realizing what he just walked into and was in over his head)

We then spent the next 30 minutes coming up with jobs we think little people would be good at:

Our determination was…Anything. They can do anything. They’re simply smaller than the average human and that’s it. But they would be particularly adept at navigating small childlike spaces or those cool animatronic suits that never have enough room for a grown average adult and too dangerous for a kid. Yeah, now I just want to be a little person so I can go in one of those suits.

 

 

 

 

The Island of Utopia

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We all live on a Mainland, filled with typical jobs, responsibilities, consumerism and shallow emotion. The Mainland is where newspapers need to be written at the 6th grade level, $800 iPhones are purchased regularly and people talk about the newest Star Wars movie or celebrities as if they’re gods. In typical hierarchy, the higher classes judge your value in whether or not you have MA or PhD at the end of your name and many others are constantly competing to “keep up with the Jones'”. That’s the Mainland. We all have lived here or currently live here. There are all walks of life on the Mainland, but the Critic, the Optimist and the Warrior are more common than others.

Some of us walk out to the Cliffs of the Mainland to appreciate the ocean because we know the Island is out there. We’ve heard of its beauty. According to legend, it’s a snowglobe of perfection filled with happiness, hopes, dreams and transcendence. Elders make it appear like a mystical utopia where enlightenment comes naturally. Here’s the thing though…the waters can be choppy, you can’t fly there, there are no hotels and its innocent beauty has been preserved. The worlds deepest trench is between the Mainland and the Island, new species are discovered all the time and its particularly dangerous because many predators breed there.

The Island tests our courage.

Some people rarely go to the Cliffs because the edge terrifies them, they can dream on occasion but it never goes beyond that. They are susceptible to gossip, conspiracies and fear mongering. Complaining is their way of life, dreaming is not acceptance of reality, that’s for the hippies and the rich. Their relationships are typically toxic, non-existent, superficial or co-dependent. A staggering percentage of the population on the Mainland are these types. These are the Critics.

Others are so fascinated by the island that they charter a small boat and go to a smaller, closer island. Although it’s not really an island but more like a big rock similar to Alcatraz, only, there’s no prison. They find it beautiful and intriguing so they return to the Mainland with stories of hope and gratitude, convincing themselves they have experienced enlightenment of the Island, even though its not the actual Island. These are our Optimists, always giving advice, always trying to help. But they, too, were fearful of the turbulent waters in the journey to the Island. So they settled for one with a shorter path, less risk and faster gratification. These people are happy and content, they lift us up, light up a room and make us feel connected.

Then there are those of us that build up the courage to journey to the Island. We are more curious than fearful and feel like we have to see this Island that our culture so highly regards. Starry eyed and fueled by determination, we begin. We encounter storms and sharks, fear of death and gratitude for life. Every day survived in these conditions we feel more blessed and more surprised at our own resolve. It’s terrifying and we wonder why the hell we thought this was ever a good idea. There’s a reason no one you know has ever actually been there, we think to ourselves. This really sucks. We get stung by jellyfish but learn that the pain eventually goes away. A shark bites off a finger and we learn to write with the other hand. We run out of food but learn to fish with dolphins. Every “bad” thing, teaches us something else. It’s long and arduous. When we finally arrive bruised, beaten and exhausted, we find the Island is nothing the stories spoke of. It’s no more of a utopia than the tiny Alcatraz-like rock. But that’s ok, we think.  This is beautiful BECAUSE of what it took to get here. We arrive different, changed, grateful. These are the Warriors.

When we return to the Mainland, we share our story. The Critics judge us and make fun of our missing finger, the Optimists think you learned what they did, but the still have all their digits and no idea how to fish. But the Warriors, they see you immediately. They see the waves of the journey in your eyes. They can relate with their missing toe and tales of near death. They don’t speak of the Island as a utopia, because like you, they have been there, and  know the utopia resides in you, every second of every day. They know that some lessons can only be learned when you need to learn them for your very survival.

 

 

Do you believe in Magic? 🎼

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Option Institute

 I can hear the song as I write this. Seriously though, do you? Do you believe that truly extraordinary things are possible? Things that you never saw coming or anticipated? I do. While processing my shocking divorce I went to the Option Institute above, it was a healthy reminder that I could choose however I wanted or needed to feel. I chose every emotion I could, it was liberating and exhausting. Boy did I go through it. I laughed cried, yelled and blamed. And not one damn person judged me for it. During that time a friend said to me, ” Do you believe in Magic? I do, it’s you.” I immediately told him how cheesy he was, at which point we both laughed our assesses off from the realization. He started to explain what he actually meant. 

Children have a certain magic to them because they are full of wonder and curiosity. 

Apparently, even as a grown woman, I have that. I was going to improv, hiking, meeting new people, letting go of old ones and stepping outside of my dark sadness that was my divorce. I’ve seen some serious shit in my life and THAT, my friends, is my coping mechanism. Oh, I wallow too. But I always come back to “where’s the magic?”. I start listening to my inner light, listening to my inspiration and coach myself out of pain and despair. I start reminding myself that the universe is benevolent and really only wants the best for us. I think of Pablo Picasso’s quote:

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.

When I was teenager and later when I went through my divorce it was curiousity, tenacity and hope that separated me from the herd. At 15, I was an overweight dropout, severely depressed, that smoked a lot of different things. By 19, I graduated with honors, I had quit smoking, and I was a mentor and leader to other at-risk kids. I refused to be a statistic. I would magically have checks show up in the mail when I was dead broke but working my ass off to reach a certain amount. Old friends would always re-appear when something painful was about to happen and I always seemed to find myself a mentor. So, now, it’s time again for another chapter and while this whole flying-in-the-air-but-waiting-to-pull-the-ripcord-until-I-know-where-I’m-landing feeling is exhausting, it also reminds me I’m alive with wonder, curiosity and magic. Wherever I land, it will not be because I had too but because I picked my landing zone purposefully. ☺️❤️💜💚💙