Find The Light By Embracing The Darkness

Shadow

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will think of it as fate. ~Carl Jung

That doesn’t mean become Dexter. It means you cannot fully appreciate the boundless energy of the light until you have explored the depths of your soul.

The famous psychotherapist Carl Jung explained it as the shadow self or shadow side, the parts of ourselves that we deny. These are the dark corners in our minds, much like the scary closets when we were kids and the lights were out. If there was a nightlight it just wasn’t as scary, unless you had one of those damn Teddy Ruxpin’s with low batteries, then we were sure we were going to die. But eventually you muster the guts to tell mom and she doesn’t think you’re crazy, she just chuckles and tells you the batteries are low. Whew. Close call.

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The spots we judge are usually the source of our limiting beliefs. The places that, when triggered, drive many to go for a drink, a cigarette or harder drugs. The thoughts that make us want to numb are the thoughts that stop us from embracing our light. If we want to reach our potential, and our goals, fear and judgement must be faced.

This has been a year of cleansing for me. I had allowed a circle of toxicity to creep up on me and swallow me up, because deep down I had some rotting grief leftover from a divorce 3 years ago. I thought I was past it, but I was simply in the eye of the storm. I was vulnerable and allowed a victim, deal-with-it-because-this-is-how-it-is mindset take over my snowglobe vision that anything was possible. Anything IS possible, ALWAYS. Change is scary… it’s also inevitable, exciting and invigorating. It’s all in how you choose to look at it. The glass is not half empty or half full, it’s both. People are the same way. We have good behaviors and bad behaviors. Yin and yang. We are always trying to find our balance.

This is my process for swimming through the ocean of emotion in order to get to the Island of Utopia:

  1. Self Awareness- Recognize your inner critic. It likes to disguise itself as the “voice of reality” when really it’s purpose is to create shame, to keep you safe from failure.
  2. Write it down- Record the guttural words of pain, sorrow or despair in all its glory. No more than 30min of writing.
  3. Name it!  Create a name for your inner critic. Personally I just call mine shame for clarity.
  4. Read the words you wrote outloud.
  5. Cry it out if necessary.”I hear you shame, you’re welcome to your opinions and you can ride in the car but you do NOT get to drive”.
  6. Immediately watch something or engage in something that makes you laugh. Alternatively, you could dance it out. The point is to do something completely different and get out of your head. Comedy works well. ☺️
  7. Let someone know. Have someone you can call when you open something up that you need to verbally process. For some people this may be a Therapist or Psychiatrist. 

These are just tips for getting in touch with your judgements and darker parts that you like to pretend don’t exist. We all have those spots and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. ☺️ Let me know what you think of these! 💜

A Place Of Truth, A Place Of Happy


A fellow blogger recently posted about playing the “what if” game which fueled my own philosophical thoughts . These aren’t relationship “what ifs” but rather a vision…

What if there was a place, a community, where authenticity, vulnerability, boundaries and compassion were the most important values. A retreat you could visit or take a course, or volunteer, where you felt alive and supported no matter how you showed up as long as you were authentic? A place where you could work (if you wanted to), make a healthy living with, and raise your family while still having time for them? A place where you could really show up and be seen. A placed that valued you, whether you were an employee, a volunteer or a workshop participant.

No coolaid is served. It’s not an Amish community. Just a place of growth, mutual respect, boundaries, fun and laughter. Where you can be you because even if there is judgement there’s a bigger blanket of honest acceptance for our differences. What if that place existed? What if it wasn’t just for the rich but there were scholarships for those that were curious but otherwise couldn’t enjoy such a luxury? What if it attracted all types of people and not just yogis or vegetarians but CEO’s, students and families looking to challenge old stories. A place of integrity where the common thread is bravery

A place where you can ask tough questions, find elusive answers, have fun, or just be alone…all at the same place. Like a retreat/summer camp for adults on a sprawling property where you could spend time looking within or spend it communicating. Not a place to party, a safe place to find your inner light;what your good at, what feeds your soul.

Would you go?